what do i want

Anuhea Jenkins - Big Deal

2009-06-17T01:39:17Z

your story...

2009-05-09T03:07:26Z

the sound of your voice
swing swings on my heartstrings
like a melody to eternity.

oh to hear that sound again...
oh to be your muse...

it is my lovely lullaby
and you my dream come true.

having watched you inhale and exhale in detail
as you recounted your daily news,
you shared with me the troubles you had
and all the humorous truths

though you always saved the best for last
when the time had come to part,
before the distance overcame our souls
you shared with me your heart
whispering "oh how i will miss you so"

you are an like an exciting novel to me
of which i can not let go.
I'd take all the minutes my life still holds
to read your pages through.

Esthero - Fastlane

2009-04-26T21:26:25Z

"You can tie my hands behind my back
And lick your initials in my neck.....
foreplay does nothing for me, 
but commitment makes me wet.
I already know you're having an affair with words
....but boo...
i'm married to it....
My vocabulary leaves most men wary...
i need to know....
can you get into it?"

This is so torturous, I know that I shouldn't, but I can not resist
Just what is it that you are weaving that's keeping my body from leaving?
Your presence is lingering longer than I thought it would
And I feel that I should succumb to your majik 
cause I know you're just as…

Strong as an earthquake, bright as a shinin' star
I remember the fragrance, I just couldn't believe I'd come so far for
Love in the fast lane, as my sanity quickly passed me by
Yeah I left it all behind

Battling, battling, these feelings are traveling 
Quicker than a flick of lightning, you were tightening
Round my heart and won't slow down
Burning hotter than the world underground
I'm feeling like cupid's fool, what to do?
And the arrow's headed straight for you you
I don't wanna love another, gotta keep this undercover
Brother I'm about to explode, I am…

Strong as an earthquake, bright as a shinin' star
I remember the fragrance, I just couldn't believe I'd come so far for
Love in the fast lane, as my sanity quickly passed me by
Yeah I left it all behind

Jelleestone chats....

"would you let me lick you with alliteration and tie you up with similies? 
Give you pain and pleasure with solliquies until you beg me for release....
I think we can have the ebonic plague solution...
lace me with your lexiconic seed 
and in 9 months we can start to raise the revolution"

Strong as an earthquake, bright as a shinin' star 
I remember the fragrance, I just couldn't believe I'd come so far for
Love in the fast lane, as my sanity quickly passed me by
Yeah I left it all behind

Strong as an earthquake, bright as a shinin' star 
I remember the fragrance, I just couldn't believe I'd come so far for
Love in the fast lane, as my sanity quickly passed me by
Yeah I left it all behind

quote #4

2009-04-25T20:50:33Z

"Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare." (stephen hawking)

my latest addiction

2009-04-20T10:19:31Z

Friendly Fire -Skeleton Boy

I close my eyes on the dancefloor
Forget about you
I lose myself in flashing colors
I've gotta see it through

You're too much,
I take it that we're over
should we even care at all?
You're too much, too much
Shake hands and say goodbye

Your love is out
But even despite it all
Give me your hand
Let's face this night and see it through x2

Right by my feet, lay broken glasses
Skeleton boy
Sweat from the walls, drips on my shoulder
I gotta see it through

You're too much,
I take it that we're over
Should we even care at all?
You're too much, too much
Shake hands and say goodbye

Your love is out
But even despite it all
Give me your hand
Let's face this night and see it through x2

Your love is out
But even despite it all
Give me your hand
Let's face this night and see it through x2

candideone @ 2009-03-23T02:29:00

2009-03-23T12:29:43Z

katie wirsing

2009-03-23T11:16:45Z

so sad...

2009-03-23T10:30:35Z

quote #3

2009-03-20T04:29:33Z

"i believe listening to be one of the most powerful and influential techniques of human intercourse."

<Karl Menninger>

destination unsure...

2009-02-24T11:13:16Z

I’ve been traveling along this unpaved road

full of stagnant potholes and faded directions.

With cautionary signs signaling possible cautions.

Hitchhikers asking to spare some change

All the while I keep thinking I need to save.

With many turns I could have taken.

Somehow I’ve managed to avoid dead ends.

And unmapped locations, with geographically confused strangers

I’ve seen signs teasing me of better options,

Like independence in far off destinations

With two week acquaintances, who promised better living?

How and why, when they barely know me, as I hardly know myself

I am still figuring things out, so I close my ears and shelter my eyes

From all the possible memories I choose to deny.

For I think to myself though I may hinder me now,

I do it in best interest for my future self.

Experiencing things at my own pace

Those unknown memories will be mine one day

i just need to be ready for things I've

yet to try and welcome the new days

when I am willing to wave goodbye.

relief...

2009-02-15T10:29:22Z

ocean spray,

sand strewn mists of emotion.

staggering to moon's millennia hold.

forward, backward, then skyward.

always returning, continuously

grasping, needs unknown.

carelessly caressed

rigid boundaries.

taken in breaks, ebbs, and flows.

taper and soften.

reveal weathered stories permanent.

Of a time long ago.

This blanket of depth

comforts loss from above.

enveloping carefully, needed relief.

Expansive seagreen sea beds,

silence’s eternal hold.

eight hours

2009-02-05T09:51:11Z

i stand fairly quietly behind this
large display case of black an silver make.
every few minutes spraying some form of carbon monoxide,
to keep fresh and colorful the contents within.

waiting for the next passersby
i feign interest in their cheer,
except for the few i know.
taking time with their requests
i can distract the hours endless hold.

when things get slow ill manage some other duty.
my pants, shirt, and self absorb the aroma of hard work.
and will follow me through out the day.

every so often ill get some nuisance
who wants everything like so.
and with a smug face they'll keep at it
and really piss me off.

just take it the way i give it
i wish i that i could say.
if its to much of a hassle
just come back another day.
cause i ain't got what you want and
it ain't comin in today.

and if they pushed any further i'd reason
to then pull out this phrase my sister taught
me just a few day ago.
in which she pulled her lower eyelid down
and with her hand she said,
"does it look like i care!
cause i really don't give a damn."

for eight hours i stand
observing the view in front of me.
walking back and forth
standing fairly quietly
waiting for my next passersby
i so can't wait to leave this place and
part with a goodbye.

random thoughts...

2009-01-26T06:58:31Z

a harsh world it is
when hearts move on,
forget the one you know
for someone you do not

I awake in the morning to find your just...
a broken memory of the one i needed to care

I do not wish to see you,
forcefully i talk time by
you still engage my sensory
as my heart it slowly lies.

enough...

2008-12-21T09:37:29Z

i wish break-ups were easier, that they were painless.
instead i have this overwhelming loneliness lingering
every night i get into bed

for then my heart remembers you won't be here tonight,
and you won't be here in the morning.

you won't ever call me when i yearn to hear your voice.
but you'll call me to tell me of things i don't want to hear.

i wish i didn't feel so much,
i wish i never loved you so much
maybe then this would not be so hard.

i wish you loved me as much as i loved you.
that i was always your first thought when you woke up every morning,
and your first thought before you went to bed.

i wish i was the kiss you yearned for every minute, of every hour, of every day.
that i was the face you longed to see, and the one you longed to hold
and i was the person you needed most, to bring you a brighter day

i wish i was enough.

if only you could see that.
but you don't
because your to young

you made it serious
then you threw it all out.

now i'm stuck,
having put all my effort in
leaving my heart to hang

now i'm just to old
now i'm just to clingy
now i'm just no one.

i wished i was enough
i wished you would have seen that.

ms. swan rules

2008-12-10T05:47:26Z

sexy tennis....

2008-12-10T05:17:08Z

newpaper quote #2

2008-12-09T06:48:52Z

"we often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude"

<Cynthia Ozick>

fix you...

2008-12-09T06:43:03Z

i keep on thinking there is something i am able to do

something that will make everything alright
something that will make 'us' feel alright

but i know that will probably never happen
i know its just me thinking i am capable of fixing things

but i can't fix something that is not broken
and its such a sad thing that your not

sometimes the reality of the head conflicts with the reality of the heart

Frou Frou -hear me out

2008-12-09T06:12:04Z


I join the queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up I know you're there
Can't you hear?
I'm not myself

Oh, go ahead and lie to me 
You could say anything 
Small talk will be just fine 
Your voice is everything 
We owe to love
And it all depends on you

*(chorus)
so listen up 
This sun hasn't set
i refuse to believe that it's only me feeling
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(Love is on the line, can you handle it?)

So how do I do normal?
The smile I fake
The permanent wave
of cue cards and fix-it kits
Can't you tell?
I'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings and fingerprints
I don't wanna feel anything but I do
And it all comes back to you

* goes again

(chorus)

so listen up
You've got me strained
Just hear me out
Don't make me wait
I'm not myself
I can't take this
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer?

I join the queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up, I know you're there...

So listen up
This sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(x2)

first line of the first 20

2008-12-09T06:00:20Z

Put your MP3 player on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-first is the title.

It's a drunken midnight on the streets
Shoes crack where you walk

Long, long ago

Monday morning wake up knowing that you've got to go to school
I didn't mean to be so late

I will never let you go
Has our conscience shown?

Seems like everyone else has a love just for them, 
Space ships can't tame the jungle 

I join the queue on your answer phone
I do not

This is the key that makes us wind up
I like my covers to be heavy

Well, hello baby
Static tone on the phone are we breaking again

No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore
I guess I'm never coming by

Yesterday was a cloudy day
Puff the magic Jesus 

And the death of the atmosphere

hopefully...

2008-12-05T06:00:43Z

right now i am comfortable
even with out your touch
i am almost getting used to not having you,
not clinging to you like i use to do.

though there still are days where i yearn to have you near me,
to have you talking to me like you still care, like you still love me
like you promised you would.

but it's then i remember that things have changed and we are
not the people we promised each other we'd be.

i've been more tired than usual and a bit more somber than i should.
i've had days were i felt i could not do anything, felt i should just stop,
this has not been a worthless effort all along.

we must have had something real, otherwise why would it hurt so much.

its then i remember, that this experience was worth more than its hurt,
hopefully it'll make me stronger somehow.
hopefully...

i wish...

2008-12-01T09:38:37Z

i am trying to talk to you,
trying so very hard to convey to you
that my mind is full of all this clutter
and i want so badly to rid myself of all
the nonsense i have heard muttered.

i have heard these things from more than one source
so how can it be that these things do not matter
when you don't speak your mind and tell me what does
why else do you think my trust is running low.

"you should have come to me!"
"you should have asked me!"

but why would i do so if so many others discovered
the very things i have asked you but you brushed off with no bother.

i want you to hear what is on my mind,
even when my truth is so out of line
i want to hear you and whats on your mind,
even when your truths conflict with mine.

i want you to try to explain to me why your thoughts are so different,
i want you to take a stance and tell me what really is the matter.
instead of these i don't knows and you don't understand
give me a chance ill try to comprehend.
i still believe your worth it and i am so willing to give a try.

i wish you would try harder...

newspaper quote

2008-11-29T05:48:59Z

"We can only be said to be alive, in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."

<Thornton Wilder>

broken...

2008-11-26T08:38:16Z

broken promises strewn across the floor
when did lying become your main act
and your conscience so unclean

when did it occur to be okay?

could you not see i loved you with every ounce of me
could you not see you broke the very core of me

confessions from friends, hoping it would never be them
little do they know that karma has a goal.
im learning now of all the things unsaid
im learning now of the numerous ones you bed.

dirty oh how so dirty, your hands are forever unclean
how could you think that id never learn of these horrible things you did.

i honestly never expected this from you, i believed in better dreams
i put my trust in you and gave you all my heart.

i still find it hard to grasp how you behaved without a care.
i still have a hard time with the idea that i was the one you chose to tear.

city lights...

2008-10-28T00:59:03Z